I am sitting here all by my lonesome.
Again, endless assignment. Title is SUICIDE. To be frank, I myself do have the fullest confident in presenting this report but now the information that should put in the report are too little. I did not mean others never done their good job. They have done their part perfectly, I suppose. Since choosing the title, designing the freaking troublesome questionnaire, and asking people filling the survey form up... Everybody has done their job. The complication faced is, too little info could be included in our assignment. That was such a pain...
Now, trying to express my feeling about this program. English for Mass Communication, I really have no idea what is going on with this subject, by the way, I would not comment how was the lecturer conducting his or her lecture and tutorial first. This course was badly designed. I don't understand why the school wants us to prepare a useless report for about 12 weeks and we need to do a presentation regarding what we have done so far. Moreover, the enviroment in the lecture hall is bad; every week, if I not mistaken, we are roasting in the lecture hall; the air-con was malfunction. I make it simple....students' walfare was completely overlooked!
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Eye
"What are those words on the white board? I can hardly read them"....
Seems like my eye sight is getting poorer. For me, wearing a spectacle is burdening. Besides gives me a better view of this world; keeping it in a very safe place and must handle it with great care; I can hardly see there is nothing much important for me to have a glasses.
Indeed, I need a glasses, but my habit told me that I will place them in eveywhere.... once in the room, once on the fridge, once on the table. Not keeping it in its case. I'ma fairly lazy guy....haha
Roomates are not here, some go schooling and shopping; sitting here writing this entry, hope that my short-sighted eyes will get better in the future. According to some of my friends, box thorn fruit (a kind of berry) will be helpful.
Seems like my eye sight is getting poorer. For me, wearing a spectacle is burdening. Besides gives me a better view of this world; keeping it in a very safe place and must handle it with great care; I can hardly see there is nothing much important for me to have a glasses.
Indeed, I need a glasses, but my habit told me that I will place them in eveywhere.... once in the room, once on the fridge, once on the table. Not keeping it in its case. I'ma fairly lazy guy....haha
Roomates are not here, some go schooling and shopping; sitting here writing this entry, hope that my short-sighted eyes will get better in the future. According to some of my friends, box thorn fruit (a kind of berry) will be helpful.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Clock is still working at its beats
I have asked myself once. Am I having the same amount of time like others, of I'm having lesser time than others?Yune told me the problem is in how one manages his or her time.
I wonder. The classroom is freezing cold; he is wearing a cardigan, wearing a pair of glasses. He is calm, telling me the truth. Sickness still tortures his weak body. "I'm fine, don't worry" He said.It's time for me to evaluate myself for what I have done along this semester. I suppose, have to keep some time for myself.
Time is precious.
I wonder. The classroom is freezing cold; he is wearing a cardigan, wearing a pair of glasses. He is calm, telling me the truth. Sickness still tortures his weak body. "I'm fine, don't worry" He said.It's time for me to evaluate myself for what I have done along this semester. I suppose, have to keep some time for myself.
Time is precious.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Hooray !
Presentations were over, two presentations in one shot. Good feedback from teacher and friends. Classmates are able to discuss the topics in the tutorial, I was quite happy and amazed...HUH...somewhat tired yet happy cos I stll have another 2 presentations to go in coming weeks.
Tang Dynasty Poem is alright for me. Confident. This is a subject which I don't have to worry so much because I have certain level of knowledge in this subject. Understandable and clear explanation is a must for this subject's presentation. Another subject is English for Mass Comm. This is the subject that I have trouble with it... Luke, the English lecturer is slow in conducting lectures and tutorials. He is good if he teaches secondary school. It just because he always keep repeating the same thing in the class. For instance, "Chinese major students, do you have any question? Please remember to place your memo before your report and bare in mind that appendixes must be placed after the reference...." Help!!! slow~~~~~
There are still a few days for our group to prepare for the report...and now....group members are squeezing their mind to get the ideas for the report and presentation.
Tang Dynasty Poem is alright for me. Confident. This is a subject which I don't have to worry so much because I have certain level of knowledge in this subject. Understandable and clear explanation is a must for this subject's presentation. Another subject is English for Mass Comm. This is the subject that I have trouble with it... Luke, the English lecturer is slow in conducting lectures and tutorials. He is good if he teaches secondary school. It just because he always keep repeating the same thing in the class. For instance, "Chinese major students, do you have any question? Please remember to place your memo before your report and bare in mind that appendixes must be placed after the reference...." Help!!! slow~~~~~
There are still a few days for our group to prepare for the report...and now....group members are squeezing their mind to get the ideas for the report and presentation.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Something from my heart
Hmm...I'm having 2 presentation tomorrow. Modern Chinese Literature and Philosophy. For the Modern Chinese Literature, I'm presenting Leo Ou-Fan Li's "Repaint Shanghai", for another subject is The metaphysics of Wei and Jin Dynasties. Frankly speaking, I have prepared and ready for them. I'm calm, and I'm really sure the presentation for me is just easy as ABC. My partner, Mint, looks quite bad. She is going nuts reading those thick, hard-to-understand yet dry script. It is just ok for me because I found that the script is not hard to understand and some more, I am interested in it.
She said, "I don't understand Leo, is he making himself clear??? Why suddenly Leo quoting Benjamin's quote and then talking about Shanghai with no reason..."
I understand what is going on now... She is the person who does not making herself clear about the text. Actually, catching the keywords from the text is the most important step that she has to be done before critics the text(we are doing Literature criticism). I think this is the way to train her to be ready for critical thinking PROPERLY. I said this because she, sometimes, in a sense that thinking in a certain way which is not so good.
She is good in guessing, but sometims when she talked on something which is already wrong, not true, or perhaps I can say she is talking nonsense. Sometimes she can talk on a certain topic without showing the proof, showing a firm stand to others and I don't think this is good in the tutorial discussions... For those who is clear about what is going on..... he or she knows she is crapping; for those who are still blur or not sure......they may ask themself.....am I right or am I wrong; but for those who is "sleeping" in the classroom......they think she is great.
I think this is the best way showing her effort of how to prepare for a effective discussion.
Back to Philosophy, this is a great subject. I enjoy Mr Yam lecture and I think he is a funny lecture. Wearing a purple long sleve shirt, a pair of fit slacks, a pair of shiny buffed oxford, and a well-groomed hair... a truly metrosexual guy...
Mr. Yam is also from Penang, now he is stying in Damansara... He is good, I hope I can learn something from him in these university life.
She said, "I don't understand Leo, is he making himself clear??? Why suddenly Leo quoting Benjamin's quote and then talking about Shanghai with no reason..."
I understand what is going on now... She is the person who does not making herself clear about the text. Actually, catching the keywords from the text is the most important step that she has to be done before critics the text(we are doing Literature criticism). I think this is the way to train her to be ready for critical thinking PROPERLY. I said this because she, sometimes, in a sense that thinking in a certain way which is not so good.
She is good in guessing, but sometims when she talked on something which is already wrong, not true, or perhaps I can say she is talking nonsense. Sometimes she can talk on a certain topic without showing the proof, showing a firm stand to others and I don't think this is good in the tutorial discussions... For those who is clear about what is going on..... he or she knows she is crapping; for those who are still blur or not sure......they may ask themself.....am I right or am I wrong; but for those who is "sleeping" in the classroom......they think she is great.
I think this is the best way showing her effort of how to prepare for a effective discussion.
Back to Philosophy, this is a great subject. I enjoy Mr Yam lecture and I think he is a funny lecture. Wearing a purple long sleve shirt, a pair of fit slacks, a pair of shiny buffed oxford, and a well-groomed hair... a truly metrosexual guy...
Mr. Yam is also from Penang, now he is stying in Damansara... He is good, I hope I can learn something from him in these university life.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
原来...也只不过如此...
一山还有一山高，那天到了蕉赖排练，指挥要求奇高，和笛子不打交道的日子已经有几个月了，难免生涩不少。心中微微叹了一口气，唉。。。。。。
小飞是个帅哥，身材瘦削，皮肤白皙，善解人意，还挺幽默。打从心底蛮欣赏他。最重要是关心其他朋友的一颗心，赤子之心，和你称兄道弟，完全是没任何防备， 而且什么话题都能聊，这是我一职以来办不到的事情。别无其他，我只是讨厌说废话，说些应酬的话，虽然知道有时候一些人际关系是要用这种的话语来维持，我一 直很努力的改进，希望能把自己融入大家，可恨的是我的良知一直告诉我：
“你，怎么开始说这种话了？？？”
和小飞闲聊根本不会有这种的事情发生，我很享受和他慢慢聊的时光。他是一个值得深交的朋友，虽然有时他说的冷笑话真的把我气坏了，但是在一个刚认识的朋友 中，又肯在你身上花这么多心思和时间的朋友，那是真的不可多得啊。他的美言，有点过度，回过神想想，就是只想让自己开心。我很想劝他，不要花这样多时间在 一个不会在你身上花时间的人。。。我突然把事情想得那么严重，悲观的我，不会赞同自己，写到这里，眼泪在我眼眶打滚，强忍，就是不让它淌出。。。。。。
小飞，原谅我对你的冷漠，原谅我对你的嘲笑，我会体谅你的无奈。
白雪飘飘
白雪皑皑
跌入树梢
冷得无奈
叫人如何
掰
小飞是个帅哥，身材瘦削，皮肤白皙，善解人意，还挺幽默。打从心底蛮欣赏他。最重要是关心其他朋友的一颗心，赤子之心，和你称兄道弟，完全是没任何防备， 而且什么话题都能聊，这是我一职以来办不到的事情。别无其他，我只是讨厌说废话，说些应酬的话，虽然知道有时候一些人际关系是要用这种的话语来维持，我一 直很努力的改进，希望能把自己融入大家，可恨的是我的良知一直告诉我：
“你，怎么开始说这种话了？？？”
和小飞闲聊根本不会有这种的事情发生，我很享受和他慢慢聊的时光。他是一个值得深交的朋友，虽然有时他说的冷笑话真的把我气坏了，但是在一个刚认识的朋友 中，又肯在你身上花这么多心思和时间的朋友，那是真的不可多得啊。他的美言，有点过度，回过神想想，就是只想让自己开心。我很想劝他，不要花这样多时间在 一个不会在你身上花时间的人。。。我突然把事情想得那么严重，悲观的我，不会赞同自己，写到这里，眼泪在我眼眶打滚，强忍，就是不让它淌出。。。。。。
小飞，原谅我对你的冷漠，原谅我对你的嘲笑，我会体谅你的无奈。
白雪飘飘
白雪皑皑
跌入树梢
冷得无奈
叫人如何
掰
Friday, July 14, 2006
blank
I'm quite blur recently... The English assignment and report Questionairre made me feel exhausted. Why I felt so?
I went for the Chinese language talk on Wednesday, the speaker was Mr Yang, indeed, a pro in his field, but the talk was a totally dissapointment. Let me tell you what had haappened on that particular day...
Firstly, I thought my members were well-prepared for the talk. I mean chairs and tables were well arranged, but no, the Estate Dept. people were out for lunch at 1 o'clock....We can just wait for another hour to make sure that the talk to be prepared... After a while, they came. Their attitude were bad, saying there only 2 mics, was that a problem to give us 3 mics cos I have wrote down how many mics were needed. He was such a busy body telling yen Wah that 2 mics were enough. I think mics should be enough if there were three. Sometimes, Yen Wah was such a perfectionist...thinking all to be great...but pleasseeeeeeee, nothing is perfect....
Before the talk started, I was panic... no one told me that there was any EMCEE and in front of almost 40 people, I was stunned, worried. I hoped nothing will be happen....the emcee is still not there....I can't do anything,,,,picked up the mic and greet all guest and teacher after a while, starts the talk immeadietly...
Phew... During the talk, he was talking all the basic stuff...not in topic. I was so worried, cos I'm the person who helped him to run the slideshow....sitting in front of all guest like a doll...perhaps you could say I was liked a vase. Doing nothing but just sitting there like a stupid. After an hour, he still talking those basic stuff, felt like wasting my time in the talk. It's better for me to go to PD and support the CUTE Girl as she was the finalist of UTAR Idol.
Finally, the clock showed 4:15pm. There ends the talk... EU EE's organiser sent him go back and frankly speaking, I was quite tired and went to PB library, chatted with Miss Hoe...just a normal chat, nothing special...back home at 9 o'clock.
I went for the Chinese language talk on Wednesday, the speaker was Mr Yang, indeed, a pro in his field, but the talk was a totally dissapointment. Let me tell you what had haappened on that particular day...
Firstly, I thought my members were well-prepared for the talk. I mean chairs and tables were well arranged, but no, the Estate Dept. people were out for lunch at 1 o'clock....We can just wait for another hour to make sure that the talk to be prepared... After a while, they came. Their attitude were bad, saying there only 2 mics, was that a problem to give us 3 mics cos I have wrote down how many mics were needed. He was such a busy body telling yen Wah that 2 mics were enough. I think mics should be enough if there were three. Sometimes, Yen Wah was such a perfectionist...thinking all to be great...but pleasseeeeeeee, nothing is perfect....
Before the talk started, I was panic... no one told me that there was any EMCEE and in front of almost 40 people, I was stunned, worried. I hoped nothing will be happen....the emcee is still not there....I can't do anything,,,,picked up the mic and greet all guest and teacher after a while, starts the talk immeadietly...
Phew... During the talk, he was talking all the basic stuff...not in topic. I was so worried, cos I'm the person who helped him to run the slideshow....sitting in front of all guest like a doll...perhaps you could say I was liked a vase. Doing nothing but just sitting there like a stupid. After an hour, he still talking those basic stuff, felt like wasting my time in the talk. It's better for me to go to PD and support the CUTE Girl as she was the finalist of UTAR Idol.
Finally, the clock showed 4:15pm. There ends the talk... EU EE's organiser sent him go back and frankly speaking, I was quite tired and went to PB library, chatted with Miss Hoe...just a normal chat, nothing special...back home at 9 o'clock.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Hometown
I'm going back today...hoping everything will be done(download all the pdf file from CNKI) and could get a ticket to Penang. I'm not sure whether I could get any ticket because I haven't buy the bus ticket, sounds quite stupid....
blah.....really hope can get 1....
blah.....really hope can get 1....
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Cool`>~>
I feel so good these days, everything seems to be so great.
Chinese Culture Festival was over, feebacks from the Dean and VIPs were good, I am pleased, as hearing these motivating feeback^_^. " You all had done a good job..." I'm the Vice President of Chinese Studies Society. As this position seems to be very busy as if there is any activities being carried out. Foo Onn and me will work together and to coordinate committee members for making every activities perfectly done, this was my idea... I am a perfectionalist, I search for perfection if I could do so. Worrying I can't take over this post from Khor bucause I'm new and still naive...I look forward for any challanges in the future.
I'm gay(old-fashioned) and excited, sing like a bird along the corridor of PA. Even Miss Yap can feel my excitement. This is the first time in the secione semester I have had this feeling. Now I realised how someone feel if he or she has enough time to do something they fond of, such as singing(in happy mood), cleaning the garden, gardening, walking along the street with relax mind...crapping...haha
Something make me feel so good now is I'm having personal time to get myself with books. I'm afraid if I couldn't get myself able to answer those questions in this coming test... Anyway, I look forward to a new day every day.
Chinese Culture Festival was over, feebacks from the Dean and VIPs were good, I am pleased, as hearing these motivating feeback^_^. " You all had done a good job..." I'm the Vice President of Chinese Studies Society. As this position seems to be very busy as if there is any activities being carried out. Foo Onn and me will work together and to coordinate committee members for making every activities perfectly done, this was my idea... I am a perfectionalist, I search for perfection if I could do so. Worrying I can't take over this post from Khor bucause I'm new and still naive...I look forward for any challanges in the future.
I'm gay(old-fashioned) and excited, sing like a bird along the corridor of PA. Even Miss Yap can feel my excitement. This is the first time in the secione semester I have had this feeling. Now I realised how someone feel if he or she has enough time to do something they fond of, such as singing(in happy mood), cleaning the garden, gardening, walking along the street with relax mind...crapping...haha
Something make me feel so good now is I'm having personal time to get myself with books. I'm afraid if I couldn't get myself able to answer those questions in this coming test... Anyway, I look forward to a new day every day.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Insane
I'm going to be insanely busy around this week. I'm the secretary of the Chinese culture festival. Lots of report and minutes need me type out and I would have go for practices in university as I'm a actor in the Play, some more I'm the flautist in the Chinese Orchestra. I'm so worry as if I can't finish the sketch before 28th of June. It's just because we all just received the sketch in a week before 28th. It's so rush, sounds bad if we all the members can't perform well.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
童年的回忆
我还记得小时候倒垃圾的情形。垃圾车是不会经过我家的，我应该交代为何如此。家乡在槟吉这一带的应该知道威省的PACIFIC是什么地方。我以前就是住在哪里，算得准确的话“我家”现在就位于它的大门口附近。州政府说哪里是“非法”住宅区，但我早在哪里居住十年有余，什么非法住宅区，想起来，是蛮可笑的。后来发展商把那块地买了下来充商业用途，居住在那一带的居民也只好搬家。
说回倒垃圾的情形。由于我家属于“非法”住宅区，市政局的垃圾车是不会经过我们的家门口，在整个住宅区的入口处有两个垃圾回收站，垃圾车一个星期来好几回。十多年前的事，现在忘了有几回，但觉得当局还派人把那个垃圾回收站打理得蛮有条理的，至少没有被野猫野狗拖得满地都是垃圾。犹记小时的我，胖得像个圆球，头发几乎剃得精光，个子又矮小，走几步就气喘如牛，最不愿意帮母亲把家里的垃圾拖到回收站丢弃。别无其它，只因家中老大，有什么事发生，弟妹们的矛头就先指向我（现在想起来自己还会在一旁痴笑），我就得负起这责任。
我把装垃圾的塑胶袋系好，从垃圾桶中取出，然后就一鼓作气的把它拿到门前，虽然只是咫尺之距，但我觉得已是好远的距离。袋子里垃圾蛮重的，我又不会骑自行车，就只好一步一步地把垃圾拖到回收站去。我家离路口约100米，但是就只有两个字形容那距离“好远！”小时习惯裸着上身到处乱跑，身体又很会出汗，拖几步就在哪里喘一会，父亲看了摇头，我也只能苦笑。垃圾丢掉后身体就好象被水淋湿般，母亲还以为我掉进水沟里，我就嚷着母亲以后就叫弟弟做这苦差。。。
想起以前，虽然这回忆并不起眼，离乡到外头求学有一年多，童年的回忆，想起来还是会心一笑的。
说回倒垃圾的情形。由于我家属于“非法”住宅区，市政局的垃圾车是不会经过我们的家门口，在整个住宅区的入口处有两个垃圾回收站，垃圾车一个星期来好几回。十多年前的事，现在忘了有几回，但觉得当局还派人把那个垃圾回收站打理得蛮有条理的，至少没有被野猫野狗拖得满地都是垃圾。犹记小时的我，胖得像个圆球，头发几乎剃得精光，个子又矮小，走几步就气喘如牛，最不愿意帮母亲把家里的垃圾拖到回收站丢弃。别无其它，只因家中老大，有什么事发生，弟妹们的矛头就先指向我（现在想起来自己还会在一旁痴笑），我就得负起这责任。
我把装垃圾的塑胶袋系好，从垃圾桶中取出，然后就一鼓作气的把它拿到门前，虽然只是咫尺之距，但我觉得已是好远的距离。袋子里垃圾蛮重的，我又不会骑自行车，就只好一步一步地把垃圾拖到回收站去。我家离路口约100米，但是就只有两个字形容那距离“好远！”小时习惯裸着上身到处乱跑，身体又很会出汗，拖几步就在哪里喘一会，父亲看了摇头，我也只能苦笑。垃圾丢掉后身体就好象被水淋湿般，母亲还以为我掉进水沟里，我就嚷着母亲以后就叫弟弟做这苦差。。。
想起以前，虽然这回忆并不起眼，离乡到外头求学有一年多，童年的回忆，想起来还是会心一笑的。
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
A new day has come
The mist is fresh, cool air,shrouded in the air. I am pleased. My mood is good enough to look forward for a brand new day. Another new day, another new moment has come.
The air is very clean, although I can't really figure out how clean it is... I need this kind of "enviromental motivation" which make me feel happier. This sounds like God is giving me the jouyous gift of the world and I must appreciate it, no matter how I am, no matter where I am, no matter whom I belongs to. I'm not insane. Just feel happy to say so. Somestimes it's no harm for us to express our mind in such way...That's why I am here. Trying to express my feeling through this blog, somewhere which let my inner heart to shout out loud if I need to do so. Class will be at 11am, it's still early. after posting this entry, I would prepare for myself some fruits, slices of bread as my breakfast. It is not heavy breakfast but this quite good for me. To be frank, I'm quite busy for my society actvities and my own study. I would rather give up for my post if there is a chance for me to do so cos I found it to hectic for me. I envy Tao Yuan Ming whom could have that kind of easy-going lifestyle, but, can I make it? I understand life is a mixture of happiness and sadness... as long as I am happy with what I having now, my friends, my family, my books.....This is enough for me already. I don't enquire too much from God. There are sometimes negative action which dashed my spirit, I take this as a test from Him.
I will be very busy for the preparation of the society performing...hope Him will help me to overcome those very busy and fast schedule. I believe in Him so that He could help me.
Using english to express my feeling now is hard. hoping I can converse in english soon.
The air is very clean, although I can't really figure out how clean it is... I need this kind of "enviromental motivation" which make me feel happier. This sounds like God is giving me the jouyous gift of the world and I must appreciate it, no matter how I am, no matter where I am, no matter whom I belongs to. I'm not insane. Just feel happy to say so. Somestimes it's no harm for us to express our mind in such way...That's why I am here. Trying to express my feeling through this blog, somewhere which let my inner heart to shout out loud if I need to do so. Class will be at 11am, it's still early. after posting this entry, I would prepare for myself some fruits, slices of bread as my breakfast. It is not heavy breakfast but this quite good for me. To be frank, I'm quite busy for my society actvities and my own study. I would rather give up for my post if there is a chance for me to do so cos I found it to hectic for me. I envy Tao Yuan Ming whom could have that kind of easy-going lifestyle, but, can I make it? I understand life is a mixture of happiness and sadness... as long as I am happy with what I having now, my friends, my family, my books.....This is enough for me already. I don't enquire too much from God. There are sometimes negative action which dashed my spirit, I take this as a test from Him.
I will be very busy for the preparation of the society performing...hope Him will help me to overcome those very busy and fast schedule. I believe in Him so that He could help me.
Using english to express my feeling now is hard. hoping I can converse in english soon.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Lecturer
I went to my school this morning hangging around. Calling Mr.Lim at first for the result and ask for his advice. He was in the room the time after I had a brief chit-chat with Ms.Clamentine. Though he didn't pick up his phone. I thought he was in the lecture hall giving lecture to his beloved students, hah, the moment I saw him was just like ....oh my god, here comes my hope....
I looked at him, knocking the consultation room's door and I asked, "erm...sir may I ask something for my past exam?"
"Don't talk about the exam, it's still long way to go..." he said.
"okay...thanks sir..." I replied in a polite manner.
Perhaps there was an misunderstanding, I was asking about the previous exam resuls but he thought other way round......
Now I realised how was the feeling being rejected for just asking a question, my heart was in pain, it was dissapointing. Some of my friends are smart enough, they bright students, the can talk about something with passion, the fire keep flaming through the semester. I wish myself could get better result in the future. Though it might be my carelessness and fault that cause me to get such low grade, I regret as if I didn't study well, but this doesn't make sense. This won't happen in the previous semester.
And I believe....this wont't be happened in the coming exam as well....
I looked at him, knocking the consultation room's door and I asked, "erm...sir may I ask something for my past exam?"
"Don't talk about the exam, it's still long way to go..." he said.
"okay...thanks sir..." I replied in a polite manner.
Perhaps there was an misunderstanding, I was asking about the previous exam resuls but he thought other way round......
Now I realised how was the feeling being rejected for just asking a question, my heart was in pain, it was dissapointing. Some of my friends are smart enough, they bright students, the can talk about something with passion, the fire keep flaming through the semester. I wish myself could get better result in the future. Though it might be my carelessness and fault that cause me to get such low grade, I regret as if I didn't study well, but this doesn't make sense. This won't happen in the previous semester.
And I believe....this wont't be happened in the coming exam as well....
Friday, June 09, 2006
CGPA = 3.26
I can't believe that I got such result. It wasn't bad, but, I would say I could get better than 3.26 for my CGPA.
History of chinese literature was the subject which marked the lowest grade amongst all, B-. Preparing for this paper for about 3 weeks before the exam, taking notes and kept revising and revising and memorising the Poems and texts for don't know how many rounds, still, it was a total dissapointment. My heart was stop pumping at that moment once I chechek my result through intranet, I know some of my friends would get better result than me, it is none of my business. The problem is I don't want any subject marked lower grade than B+ and I'm very sure I won't get a B- for that subject. I know what I have done during the exam, everything was in smooth pace.
Can't wait to see him in the morning for his clarification...... I wish to get a scholarship to pursue my studies in the future...............
3.60, you will be mine.
History of chinese literature was the subject which marked the lowest grade amongst all, B-. Preparing for this paper for about 3 weeks before the exam, taking notes and kept revising and revising and memorising the Poems and texts for don't know how many rounds, still, it was a total dissapointment. My heart was stop pumping at that moment once I chechek my result through intranet, I know some of my friends would get better result than me, it is none of my business. The problem is I don't want any subject marked lower grade than B+ and I'm very sure I won't get a B- for that subject. I know what I have done during the exam, everything was in smooth pace.
Can't wait to see him in the morning for his clarification...... I wish to get a scholarship to pursue my studies in the future...............
3.60, you will be mine.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Presentation
Presentation was over.
I was a bit nervous during the Selected Text for Yuan, Ming, Qing Dynasty presentation. Knowing there will be something gone wrong during the presentation, my sense told me that and it had happened. Firstly, I never knew there will be limited laptops and LCD projector in our faculty... so I have got to wait for about 10 minutes before the class commenced. Luckily our Tutor, Helen, she's not yet there. I'm using the precious moment to scan through those note and handouts to racall my memory. Actually the presentation was as easy as ABC, but it would be good if I make it better trying to get higher marks .
Presentation is fun, you never know how it really feel if you never stand in front of a group a people and speak out your ideas and thoughts... I quite enjoy the process though, sometimes, it is somewhat hard to overcome my anxiety and nervous when I can't explain the terms and sentences which could make my classmate better. That will be the time I felt so sorry and sad. Felling sad and sorry because I'm wasting others time, listen a jerk crapping in front of them...
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Finally
Finally, I have finished the report. Nobody would not know what I'm trying to express as if I'm too tired to speak out my angst, my unhappiness. Even I need their emotional support, I have spoken out with some of my friends, but who cares... The numbers were just little. I am just a nobody. I need love, supports; perhaps you too....right. I have the strong feeling of anxiety while lots of workloads come into me. I need help, I need some fresh air to breath, I need a glimpse of light to brighten the darkness. only this can eliminate the anxiety and fear inside my heart. Though it might be useful if something can cherish which are books(yea, I love books, any good books that worth to read), tea, aroma candles...... pop out in front of me...but this sounds too weird, as other may say I was completely done~~~ I was crazy~~~ Some of my ex-classmate chit-chatting in the cafetaria this afternoon, as I was sick, and not willing to throw a single word out from my mounth, I just look at their eyes, my existance made them feel uncomfortable, I said hi...and bye....since when I the type of hi-bye friend for them, I was their good friend before.......Everything were went wrong, Am I wrong?!
Listening to Kevin Kern's music, it was so relaxing, I'm in down mood, chatting with some juniors and friens, they were kind of optimistic guy, never thinking of those weird questions like what I'm thinking now...My mind , now, were full of those passive,stupid questions that could make me jump dowm from 10th floor. Though it might not be wise if somebody died too early, I've got to make myself happier and always in good condition. Maybe, someday, God will consider what good things that I had done and brought me to the heaven.
Again, the mellow tone of Kevin Kern swirlling in my ear...
Listening to Kevin Kern's music, it was so relaxing, I'm in down mood, chatting with some juniors and friens, they were kind of optimistic guy, never thinking of those weird questions like what I'm thinking now...My mind , now, were full of those passive,stupid questions that could make me jump dowm from 10th floor. Though it might not be wise if somebody died too early, I've got to make myself happier and always in good condition. Maybe, someday, God will consider what good things that I had done and brought me to the heaven.
Again, the mellow tone of Kevin Kern swirlling in my ear...
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Hectic
I'm getting sick, tonnes of workload and preparation of reports and presentations dumped into my head and are killing my brain cells. What the life? Hoping one day would not be a stressful day and could make me in cherry mood. When will be the day? I hope everybody will keep doing their job well, study hard and be a helpful friend. Feeling grateful if somebody could share my workload, helping me in the class, but, is it possible if just ask a person to help me? I need cooperation amongst friends in the class, this would be better if everyone is helping each other. Please, don't be SELFISH.
I was in the philosophy tutorial from half past three to five in the afternoon. The tutorial was dry, hard, and I feel so bad now because I fall asleep in the tutorial. I'm tired and in hunger. I wish to have some cookies but the tutor seems like not allowed me to have any. he said: " you better not because this will cause other to do the same thing in the future tutorials...." ARgh!~ I can't believe what he just said and speechless, sitting there and gradually fall asleep. He's sucha a pain....and the reason he gave me was unpleasing~~~~
I bought a packet of Nasi Beriani, some carambolas and bananas from night market. after went back, whole body aching, causing me headache. Again, I slept after finished my food.
Look forward for another new day coming.
I was in the philosophy tutorial from half past three to five in the afternoon. The tutorial was dry, hard, and I feel so bad now because I fall asleep in the tutorial. I'm tired and in hunger. I wish to have some cookies but the tutor seems like not allowed me to have any. he said: " you better not because this will cause other to do the same thing in the future tutorials...." ARgh!~ I can't believe what he just said and speechless, sitting there and gradually fall asleep. He's sucha a pain....and the reason he gave me was unpleasing~~~~
I bought a packet of Nasi Beriani, some carambolas and bananas from night market. after went back, whole body aching, causing me headache. Again, I slept after finished my food.
Look forward for another new day coming.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
开学了！
今天是星期一，开学了．还没开学前，在家里帮忙妈妈看店，到了吉打找找朋友，卡了两次的小孩不笨２，真得很好看，是值得看的一部戏．
朋友给我打电话，问我要不要参加＂汉语桥＂，我想也不想就一口答应了．这还是蛮有水准的考试．能让我打开眼界，岂能错过？！
朋友给我打电话，问我要不要参加＂汉语桥＂，我想也不想就一口答应了．这还是蛮有水准的考试．能让我打开眼界，岂能错过？！
Thursday, May 18, 2006
hoh..stupid dumb dumb~~~
It was sheer stupidity to promise Tan for conducting the class in Alor Setar, and I have lost my precious time of helping my mom to clean the house...It's not just a few hours but a whole day indeed...
Thinking of I could get some side-income from teaching but it didn't seem to be true. Wasting my time and had got a few bucks from it... tiring, yet somehow, I'm sick. Sick of the unefficiency of the students, such freaking lazy yet irresponsible students, taking back the musical room keys to home and then announced through the board saying that practice had been cancelled. Huh... I hope this is the first and the last time that students making such a lame mistake.
What can I do is having a good rest first in Tan's hostel, playing some pieces while watching tv programmes. After he back from school(having a meeting with students) I asked for fetching me to the bus stop and get a cab to the bus station, taking an Express bas to Butterworth. When I arrived home, it's already 10 something. Should I make this happen again in the future? It's plain lame to go there again...
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